Perfect Girl
by Zabbie Q
Summary: [Rule 63 AU of "Bride of the Living Dummy"] A female dummy named Slappie promises to help a boy named Julian Zinman find the perfect girl
1. Chapter 1

"Remind me again, Harriet," Julian Zinman said slowly as he and his best friend walked their bikes into his garage. "Why is the talking dummy _you_ found staying at _my_ house?"

Harriet's dark eyes narrowed. "Is Slappie being a pest? I thought she said she was gonna help you out with your brothers?"

"She's okay," admitted the boy, "but, well…" He leaned his red bike against the garage wall with a self-conscious fumble. "I'm always trying to get my brothers to stop playing with their doll, Marty-Alan, and here I am with a girl's toy and…"

"Slappie isn't a doll. She's a puppet. Big difference," insisted Harriet, flicking Julian's shoulder. "And you had your teddy bear for _how long_ , again?"

Julian scowled at the tall girl. "I don't want the other kids teasing them," he retorted. "But if they see me with Slappie, they might think it's okay to lug their doll to the playground where bigger kids will hurt them." He knew from experience how cruel some guys could be to weaker boys. (It didn't help that "Julian" was one letter away from being a girl's name.) His brother, Ambrose, already cried when anybody teased him, and Kevin had a squeaky voice that made him sound like a mouse. Adding Marty-Alan to the mix was basically a painted bullseye on their backs.

Harriet patted his shoulder. Her dark eyes grew kind. "You're a good big brother, Jules, but Slappie is a person. She has feelings. Besides, that rotten woman threw her in the trash, remember? Who knows what other horrible things Slappie had to live through!"

Julian hooked his thumbs on the pockets of his green hoodie, which had been zipped closed against the autumn weather. "When you're right, you're right," he mumbled.

The two wandered out of the garage to the front walk. Julian Zinman and Harriet Cohen stood as giants among sixth graders. Julian was the tallest boy in their class, a little skinny, with a pale face that burned in the sun, black hair that needed a cut, and round green eyes similar to the scales on his pet lizard, Patty. Harriet, big boned but not chubby, had a wide frame, long legs, and large hands which could out shoot any eighth grader at basketball. Her deep-brown ponytail hung carelessly behind her (although Julian thought it looked neater than normal). Her dark eyes looked serious when she daydreamed, but her goofiness shone through when she laughed. Julian and Harriet had been best friends since the first grade, and they had had their share of adventures, including their recent one with bringing a puppet to life.

Two days prior, on Saturday morning, Harriet, Julian, and Julian's younger twin brothers had gone to the Little Theater, just four blocks away. A college-age woman named Jamie O'James had taken the stage with her puppet, Slappie. Slappie had directed the audience's attention to all of Jamie's faults through insult humor, which had left most of the children present in stitches. However, after Jamie O'James had called Julian's brothers to the stage, and after Slappie had made fun of the boys, the twins had charged backstage after the show to make "Jamie" apologize.

Julian hadn't told Harriet it yet, but he had stumbled upon Jamie and Slappie arguing in their dressing room. Slappie had punched Jamie in the face, causing Julian to gasp and reveal his presence. Jamie had played it off as an accident, but less than half an hour later, Harriet had found Slappie in the trash, broken and unconscious. Harriet had brought the puppet to Julian's house since his mom was a hobbyist carpenter with her own shop in the basement. Julian had accidentally brought Slappie to life when he read weird words off a paper in the dummy's dress, and now the two kids knew magic really existed.

Although the memory of Slappie punching Jamie rubbed Julian the wrong way, the puppet was just under two feet tall, and Jamie was a grown woman who had done worse and left Slappie for dead. Even if Slappie was abrasive, nobody deserved that.

"But can't she stay with you until my mom is ready to fix her?" Julian pressed as they crossed the grass. "Mom's been working on her coffee table for ages. She won't even use glue on Slappie until it's finished."

Harriet shrugged. "From a dummy's point of view, your mom is a doctor. Slappie has all those cracks and cuts on her face from Jamie, and they must hurt. She probably feels safer here."

Julian nodded, conceding, but he rubbed his thin neck. "She's always staring at me though," he complained. "When I do my homework, clean my room, feed my lizard. It's kinda creepy."

"It's not like she needs to blink," reasoned Harriet. "Slappie has to pretend to be a normal toy and not move all day at other houses. Watching you feed Patty is more fun than staring at the wall."

"I guess."

They started up the porch steps, but before Julian reached the door, Harriet tapped his arm.

"I meant to ask, Jules... What was that thing Christine Jefferson gave you before we left school?"

Julian swallowed but played dumb. "Huh?"

"I saw her give you a slip of paper and leave. You read it and shoved it into your pocket. What was it?" Harriet eyed him with concern.

"Nothing important." Julian grabbed the spare key from the potted plant and hurried into his house.

Two dark heads looked up in the den as Julian kicked off his sneakers. Kevin and Ambrose lounged on their stomachs, making _choo-choo_ sounds over the toy trains which used to belong to Julian. At the sight of their brother and his friend, the six-year-old twins grabbed the boy doll who had been silently watching them play and sprinted to the older pair.

"Can we play with Slappie, Harriet?" Kevin squeaked. His black hair had been allowed to grow to his ears to distinguish him from his double's crew cut, and Kevin bounced hard enough to send the strands into a wiggly dance.

"Julian said we had to ask you," chimed in quiet Ambrose. "Please? Marty-Alan says he'll take good care of her."

He held up the large doll, and Julian made a face. While he might have slept with his bear, Sir Stuffing, until he was eight, at least he had never played with a monstrosity like Marty-Alan. The plastic toy had large violet eyes, a large red mouth, large red dots on his cheeks, and a bowl cut of frizzy brown hair made from mop yarn. He reminded Julian of the scene in _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang_ when Mr. Potts dressed as a doll, but way more disturbing. For whatever reason, the twins had abandoned most of their other toys after Mom brought Marty-Alan home from a yard sale, and they claimed the doll hated Julian whenever they pulled a mean prank on their older brother.

Julian looked at Harriet and gave the thumbs down.

Harriet smirked at him before turning to the first graders. "Depends." She put her large hands on her wide hips. "Is it true you tried to shave Julian's head bald while he was sleeping a few nights ago?"

The twins shuffled their socked feet.

"Marty-Alan said his hair was too long," defended Kevin, who pushed a lengthy strand of his own behind his ear. "He was trying to do him a favor."

Harriet shook her head and wagged a minatory finger at the rosy plastic face. "If Marty-Alan can't be nice to my best friend, why should I let him play with my toys?"

The twins looked at their doll and said nothing.

Harriet held up her finger a little higher. "Tell ya what. I'll give you guys _one_ more chance. If you'll be nice to Jules this week, I'll ask Slappie if she wants to play with you guys, alright?"

The twins nodded in unison.

"Marty-Alan doesn't like it," Ambrose began.

"But he says he'll do it for Slappie," Kevin declared.

Harriet ruffled both their dark heads. "Good, now leave us alone. We got stuff we want to do."

The twins trudged back to their trains with Marty-Alan in tow, and the older kids started up the stairs.

Harriet giggled quietly. "They look so serious when they talk about Marty."

"Mom and Dad are worse," Julian said under his breath. "On Saturday night, they let the dumb doll sit at the table and gave him his own bowl. The boys put Marty-Alan right next to me because they know I hate him—don't laugh!" he scolded.

"Sorry, sorry," Harriet said quickly, holding up her big hands.

"But get this. When I asked the boys to pass the salt, they totally ignored me and kept talking to that ugly thing. I got so mad I slammed Marty-Alan's head right into the macaroni. Then my folks sent _me_ to my room for losing my temper!"

"Aw, that ain't good."

"Understate much?" answered Julian flatly, but he gave Harriet a grateful nudge. "Thanks for putting the boys in line. You're the best, man."

Harriet formed a gun with her fingers, winking. "Anything for you, Jules."

* * *

They quietly shut the bedroom door behind them, and Harriet called out: "Slappie, it's us. You can come out."

The room remained quiet, except the rustle from Patty's cage as the little lizard waddled toward Julian with a look that reminded him she needed to eat. Julian held up a finger toward his reptile and crossed the carpet to the closet. He rapped on the door. "Hey, you up?"

No reply.

Harriet joined his side, worried. "Is she okay?"

Julian twisted the knob and —

" _BOO!_ "

Julian jumped back at the shrill scream, and a high-pitched, inhuman voice began to laugh. "You guys are _hilarious_!"

Harriet chuckled as the little figure in a checkered jumper wobbled out. "You got us, Slappie."

"Speak for yourself," Julian grumbled, pretending to be more interested in unzipping his hoodie.

The puppet girl patted Julian's jeaned leg as she passed him and maneuvered to his desk. She climbed up expertly despite her artificial limbs. Slappie reminded Julian a little of Helga Pataki from _Hey Arnold!_ , both in her attitude and in her wardrobe. Her smirking, freckled face displayed several scratches now, thanks to Jamie O'James, and her large blue eyes seemed to take in everything with cold pride. A red-and-white jumper dress hung over a white, long-sleeved shirt with buttoned cuffs (although the buttons were missing now), and white stockings covered the joints of her flimsy legs with scuffed Mary Jane's on her feet. A tiny red-and-white bow perched atop her wig of curly hair, which been cropped short; Slappie said her old owner, Lenny Powell, had cut it to make her look like a boy.

"So," the puppet grinned after she had settled herself and smoothed out her skirt, "tell me about school, friends. I've only had the lizard to talk to, and staring contests with reptiles get dull when you always win." Her large eyes rested on Julian first in a way that made the boy roll his shoulders and quickly move to Patty's cage to check on her. Then she smirked at Harriet. "How did it go with Andy?" she lilted.

Harriet's cheeks colored, but she matched Slappie's smile with one of her own. "Your letter worked! Andy said he'll hang out with me at the Halloween carnival."

Julian stopped petting his docile lizard and broke into a laugh. "Wait, Andy Kramer from my English class? The same kid who did the ventriloquist act at the sixth grade talent night?" His green eyes glittered with mischief.

Harriet put her hands on her hips. "Don't you make fun, Jules."

Julian returned the lid on the glass cage, still snorting. "I thought him and Daisy Miller were together?"

"Not anymore," Harriet said happily. "Try to keep up!"

Andy Kramer was a laid-back guy, much like Harriet. He had black hair and green eyes like Julian to the point that people at school asked if they were cousins, although Andy's skin tanned better than Julian's. (But everyone tanned better than Julian, who had inherited his fair complexion from a Scottish grandmother.) Julian remembered Andy performing with a dummy named Denise, not at all self-conscious about having a girl puppet. Andy had done a great job not moving his lips, although Julian thought his material could have been better. Yet Harriet liked puppets and ventriloquism, so no wonder she had wanted to send him a love letter.

Julian turned to Slappie and grinned. "What did the letter say?"

Slappie shook her little finger. "Oh, that's between us girls, you naughty boy." She winked, and Julian concealed a grimace. The dummy folded her hands and continued, "Although I did use a pinch of my charms, if you get my drift."

Julian narrowed his eyes. "Like a love spell?"

"Were it so easy!" answered the dummy girl. "No, all I did was help Andy notice Harriet's superior qualities, and then nature took its course." She smoothed back her curly hair, looking quite pleased with herself.

"Slappie learned all kinds of spells from reading her dollmaker's journal," Harriet put in excitedly.

"I'd be able to do a lot more if Jamie O'James hadn't stolen Mama's writings," Slappie said coldly. "Only thing I have left of the dear woman, you know. I should have used Mama's secret weapon on Jamie before that female left me in the garbage to die."

Julian's eyebrows shot up. Remembering the altercation he saw between the dummy and the ventriloquist, he asked, "What secret weapon?"

Slappie gave him a sharp look. "It's a secret, dummy." Then she smiled and broke into a giggle. "Don't be so serious, Julian!" she admonished playfully.

"Whatever," muttered Julian, returning to his hungry lizard.

The dummy nodded at Harriet. "But did I promise to deliver, or did I promise to deliver?"

"You sure did!" beamed Harriet.

Although Julian would have liked to ask more about the secret weapon, he decided to wait until another time. Harriet hadn't even blinked at Slappie's casual description of her magic; her dark eyes gleamed with a soft light at the mention of Andy.

Julian smirked at his friend as he pulled out the box of dried bugs. "Did Andy win your heart with knock-knock jokes?"

"You should talk, _Zippy_ ," Harriet retorted, referring to the character Julian had created for his amateur clown act.

"Hey, it takes a real man to put on clown makeup," Julian joked back, quoting what his dad said when he had helped tailor Julian's Zippy costume.

"You said it, Julian," agreed Slappie with a smile that made the boy want to change the subject.

Unfortunately, Harriet changed it for him and took it in a direction he didn't want to travel. "Maybe Slappie can help you find someone, Jules," she suggested.

"Knock it off, Harri," he said out of the corner of his mouth. His face grew uncomfortably hot.

Slappie sat up straight. For a moment her blue eyes narrowed, but then she rubbed her chipped chin. "Oh? Is there a little lady that has caught the green eyes of Julian Clifford Zinman?"

Julian shook food into Patty's bowl and placed the box on the table, not bothering to return it to its place on the shelf. He shoved his hands into his pocket, clenching the crumpled paper inside. "Let's talk about something else."

"But, Jules—"

"Just drop it," he snapped with more emotion that he wanted to slip out. He cleared his throat, acting as if the break in his voice had been the symptom of a dry throat. "I'm gonna grab a soda. Be right back." He turned and fled from his room before either girl could say more.

* * *

They spent a few hours in the basement watching TV, an almost foreign concept for the little dummy who usually had to play dead. Julian let Slappie hold the remote, and she channel surfed with gusto, pausing on the Spanish channel here, watching a few seconds of news, a few seconds of the Disney Channel. Julian couldn't help smiling to see her stare with interest at commercials he took for granted. She made an especial point to stop whenever she saw the De Beers diamond ad, although when the shadowy figures kissed, her blue eyes shot to Julian as if watching for his reaction.

After awhile, Slappie tossed the remote to Julian and turned her attention to Harriet, asking her many questions about her home and family. Did she have any siblings? (No.) Did she have a curfew? (Yes, 10:00 on school nights; 10:30 on weekends.) Were her parents strict or lenient? (More lenient, but her mother would come hunting for her if she was even five minutes late for curfew.)

"She usually looks here at your house first, right, Jules?" laughed Harriet.

Eventually, Harriet had to go home for dinner. After they deposited Slappie in his room, Julian walked Harriet to the door. As she slipped her coat over her wide shoulders, Harriet grinned at her friend. "She's not so bad, right?"

"She gets some getting used to," conceded Julian, "but it's pretty cool having a living dummy around."

"Imagine all the stuff she can help us with!" Harriet said happily, right before her dark eyes grew serious. She fiddled with her backpack straps. "You like Andy, don't you, Jules?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, he's okay," he answered before he gave a grin. "But tell him that if he isn't nice to you, I'm coming after him with a baseball bat."

"Wearing your Zippy costume," Harriet tittered. She gave him a grateful pat on the arm. "See you at school, Jules."

Julian returned the pat. "Not if I see you first."

* * *

After dinner Julian hung out downstairs as long as he could, but his homework still rested unfinished in his backpack in his room. With a reluctant kick on each carpeted step as he went, Julian trekked upstairs.

Slappie sat enthroned on his desk. Rather than ask her to move, Julian grabbed his backpack from its corner and sank to the floor beside his bed, leaning against the mattress. He pulled out his science folder first since he liked that subject best and started to flip through the papers.

"How did dinner go?" Slappie asked. She swung her legs over the side, displaying an ease which Julian didn't feel under her stare.

"The boys mostly behaved themselves," he replied. "At least they didn't try to make Marty-Alan sit at the table tonight."

"If your parents let figurines come to dinner, you should bring me," Slappie suggested.

"Sure, that'd show them," he cracked. Julian shuffled his papers, hoping she'd get the hint.

She didn't. "Does it bother you when your parents play favorites?" She rested her chin on one hand, studying him with those way-too-big eyes.

Julian scanned his vocabulary sheet. "Who would like it?"

"The babies who get to lord it over their abused brother," Slappie said, sympathetic. "It must be so lonely for you, dear."

Julian focused on the spellings for the different elements. _Please, shut up_.

Slappie shifted on his desk, moving a little closer, but Julian ignored her. After a few moments of silence, the dummy spoke again. "Harriet said you had gotten some jobs for parties?"

"Yeah. Had." He pulled out his charts. "We were supposed to do a clown act for two different weekends, but both got cancelled. Joshua Henly caught the chickenpox while Edie Simpkin's basement flooded, so her dad decided to hold the party at Chuck E. Cheese instead."

"That's a shame," the puppet girl replied. "Harriet didn't seem too broken up about not being a clown."

Julian shrugged. "She likes getting paid though."

"Does it bother you that she doesn't like circus stuff like you do?"

Julian grimaced, but he said, with grace, "It's not for everyone."

"I think you'd make an excellent clown, Julian. You certainly got the face for it," she tittered.

"Right back at ya, puppet."

Slappie shook her head, still grinning. "No, what I meant is, do you know why some clowns have teardrops on their faces, even when they're smiling?"

He looked up at her. "Not yet," he admitted.

Her smile widened. "Because clowns acknowledge that comedy involves laughing at somebody's pain," she informed him. "So, like a clown, you look troubled, Julian."

Julian's eyes fell to his colorful science papers. "Just trying to memorize the Periodic Table. We got a quiz on Friday."

"You were unhappy even before your homework, remember?" Her blue eyes grew large. "Wooden peepers see more than you monkeys think they can."

"It's nothing." Julian stared hard at the noble gases, willing himself to remember their symbols.

"If you don't tell the magical dummy what's wrong, the magical dummy can't help you," she rasped gently.

Julian gripped the paper. "You'll only laugh."

"I don't laugh at my friends off stage, Julian," she insisted. "Do you think I'm some kinda monster?"

Julian fiddled with his study guide, still debating. At last he sighed and fished out the crumpled paper from his pocket. He smoothed it out a little before handing it to the puppet.

Slappie held it up to the light, frowning. "' _Dear Christine, Do you like me? Put a check in the correct box. Sincerely, Julian._ '" Slappie made a soft hum. "She checked the 'No' box."

"Yep."

The dummy carelessly tossed it onto his desk. "Her loss."

Julian grimaced and looked at his feet. He picked at his green sock for a moment before he worked up his nerve to ask her what had been weighing on his mind for over an hour. "Do you… That is, could you, maybe, I don't know, write her a letter for me? Like you did for Harriet and make her see my good qualities?"

"Hmm." Slappie slung her stocking legs up and climbed her way onto the bed. She crawled over and sat on the edge by his shoulder, peering into his face. "Have you ever seen or read _Romeo and Juliet_?"

"Does watching the _Wishbone_ episode count?" he asked with a wry twitch that barely managed to be a smile.

Slappie raised an eyebrow as her only acknowledgement of that response, and she continued. "Did you know Romeo liked a different girl at the beginning of the play?"

Julian's own eyebrows rose. "He did?"

She nodded, hard enough to jiggle her hairbow. "Yep. Romeo was depressed because he liked a girl named Rosaline, who didn't want him. His friends encouraged him to go to a party to forget her, and Romeo fell for Rosaline's cousin instead. That's Juliet, you know."

Julian's face fell. "So, you think Christine is just Rosaline?"

"And your Juliet could be right under your nose. Maybe so close you could touch her." She patted his shoulder, her blue eyes friendly. "If you let me, I guarantee to get you the girl who will make you forget about all the Christines in the world."

Julian looked away, feeling his face heat. What was he doing? Was he really spilling his heart to a talking dolly? He cleared his throat. "But don't Romeo and Juliet die at the end?"

Slappie giggled. "Don't take it so literally, dummy." She primly folded her hands on her checkered lap. "So, would you allow me to find you the perfect girl? You don't have to waste another tear on this Christine kid."

"I didn't cry over Christine," he muttered, but Julian's gaze went to the discarded paper, as if pulled by a magnet.

He had worked up his nerve since before breakfast to write the note. His Frosted Flakes had tasted like cardboard, and on the way to school he had nearly crashed his bike twice. It took him two periods to write the note since he kept erasing or tearing rejected papers from his notebook until his math teacher started lecturing the whole class about preserving the rainforests. Then he had slipped the finished product into Christine's locker, and butterflies had held their own rodeo in his stomach for the rest of the day. Right up until Christine had handed him back his note and walked off without a backwards glance.

He didn't cry over Christine, but his throat sure tightened at the memory. He wouldn't be able to see her around school without wishing the ground would swallow him.

Julian returned the dummy's gaze again. Her cold blue eyes seemed to have warmed just a tad.

"She'll really be perfect?" he asked quietly.

Slappie nodded her grinning head and took Julian by the sleeve, lifting his right arm. He obliged, and her stiff fingers wrapped around his wrist. She laid her left palm against his. "Like a hand in a glove, pal."

Julian pulled back with a heated face, really wishing she wouldn't use a live demonstration. "It's worth a shot, I guess."

Her artificial eyes gleamed. "Just give me time to work my magic, and you'll have a date for the carnival too. But don't worry. This girl won't need magic to see all your good qualities."

Julian's mind turned to Christine Jefferson—her pretty dark hair, her pretty tawny face with her bright smile … and the look in her brown eyes when she had handed back his note—and his throat closed again. He forced a brave smile. "Thanks, Slappie."

"No, thank _you_ , Julian." She rubbed her painted palms together. "This is gonna be fun."

* * *

As the days passed, he no longer colored and spun away when Christine Jefferson passed him in the halls. He reminded himself that she was a Rosaline, and Slappie would help him find someone who'd like him back. That relief alone had made him appreciate the little dummy, and the longer Slappie stayed in his house, the less Julian saw her as a girl's toy. Sometimes he even forgot she was a toy at all.

When Julian came home from school, Slappie helped him with his homework, listening to his essays or quizzing him on his science vocabulary. Then they would spend hours sitting on his bed, bobbing to rock music on the radio while playing Uno or Jenga or reading superhero comics. Slappie was not even a smidgen disturbed by any of the fight scenes, even offering artistic criticism on the shade of red used for the blood splatters.

Slappie helped him with his brothers as well. One morning Kevin accidentally spilled chocolate milk on Julian's shirt. Kevin started to laugh as Julian hastily mopped his front, but then Ambrose used Marty-Alan's hand to strike his twin and told him to behave.

Julian shared this with Slappie when he went upstairs to change, and the dummy girl looked suddenly thoughtful. When Julian came home from school, Slappie suggested they pull a harmless prank on the boys ("an experiment," she said).

With October in full swing, the ceiling fan in the twins' room had been turned off for the season, leaving only the light in use. Slappie instructed Julian to buy itching powder, line it on the topside of the blades, then pull the cord so that the fan would spin when the boys flipped the switch. Julian felt a little guilty since the boys had been behaving themselves, but Slappie repeated some of the stories Julian had told her of his brothers' rotten tricks, and that settled things.

The prank went exactly as Slappie described it when the boys thundered into their room that evening with their doll. Their shrieks of surprise made Julian think that any punishment his parents dealt him would be worth the evened score.

However, instead of tattling, the boys knocked on his door later and said Marty-Alan wanted to be friends with Slappie, so would Julian please, please let him play with her?

"I guess their dolly really wants to play with you," Julian chortled after he closed the door to ask Slappie what she thought.

"Hmmm," Slappie murmured before she suggested bringing the boys in for a game of Uno.

From that point on, Kevin and Ambrose were their slaves, fetching Julian and Slappie snacks or folding Julian's laundry or cleaning the lizard cage. They did every task without grumbling just to let Marty-Alan sit next to the girl dummy (under Julian's strict supervision, of course).

"You're like a good-luck charm!" Julian beamed one day.

"Can't say I've been called that before," Slappie giggled back.

A few days into her stay, Julian ventured to ask about the progress concerning the girl Slappie promised to help him find. However, the puppet girl shook her head with a chortle and told him to be patient.

"The best things are worth waiting for," she told him, "but my magic tells me that it'll be before Halloween."

"That's on a Saturday this year," Julian remembered.

"Maybe you and her can go trick-or-treating together," grinned Slappie.

Julian shrugged, suddenly awkward. "Well, Harriet and I usually go together—"

"Is Harriet your date or Andy's?" Slappie retorted, her eyes sharpening—and then she laughed. "You don't want to be a third wheel, do you?"

Julian shook his head. He then rubbed his neck. "Did your magic, uh, tell you what she'll look like? Like if I passed her on the street—"

Slappie cut him off again. "Trust me. You'll know her when you see her." She pressed her hands together. "Like a hand in a glove, Jules. Remember that."

Every so often, his mind would suddenly remember that day in the dressing room, and he would see Slappie punching Jamie. However, the more pleasant Slappie made things for him, the more he agreed with Harriet. Jamie O'James had been cruel to Slappie, so was it any wonder that the puppet might fight back one day?

* * *

With his brothers under control and with his awkwardness around Christine diminishing each day, Julian would have happily declared that his life was perfect now, except for one thing. Harriet barely had any time for him.

At lunch she sat with Andy, and the two would be so absorbed in their conversations that neither touched their food. The one time Julian tried to sit with them, he felt like a third wheel and left the lunch room early, passing by a decidedly unhappy Daisy Miller. When he called Harriet in the evenings to make weekend plans, the line was often busy. The one time he got through, she spent a whole hour going on about this joke Andy said and that sweet thing Andy did and wouldn't it be fun to put on a puppet show together.

Julian couldn't really blame her. If Christine had given him a different answer, he would probably have been hanging out with her more instead of Harriet. Still, he found himself wishing he could shoot hoops at her house or talk about Nickelodeon cartoons or just sit in his basement and do nothing.

The week before Halloween Julian spied Harriet in the cafeteria by herself, shoulders slumped and head on her blue lunchbox.

"Where's Andy?" he asked, laying his lunch tray across from her.

"He went to the nurse," she said, lifting her eyes, but her chin remained on the lunchbox. "I hope he'll be okay at the carnival."

Julian stirred the brown gravy into his mashed potatoes, struggling between sympathy for Andy and enjoying actually having a moment with his best friend. "I'm sure he will. When are you going?"

"On the Thirtieth. That way we can go trick-or-treating the next day."

Julian stabbed at his lunch tray to hide the indignant scowl that wanted to contort his face. What was he, chopped liver?

 _Is Harriet your date or Andy's?_ Slappie's words echoed in his ears, causing him to pause.

Julian lowered his spork and forced the shadows from his face. With a chipper tone, he asked, "What's your costume?"

"Maybe an alien," Harriet said thoughtfully. "My dad bought me this big hula hoop which we could decorate as a spaceship. Maybe two or three kids could fit in it, but we'd have to practice walking." She raised her dark eyebrows, and she grinned. "You in?"

Julian's smile became genuine. "Sure—if the costumes are okay," he added quickly, feeling sheepish at how eager he sounded. "Is Andy doing it?"

Harriet shrugged. "He's more in fantasy stuff like Wonderland and dragons, not sci-fi. We watched _Star Wars_ together last week, but he only said it was okay."

"His loss, it is," replied Julian, imitating Yoda.

Harriet grimaced and looked down at her large hands.

Julian tapped her wrist. "Hey, it's okay to like different things," he assured her. "You and me don't like all the same stuff, but we get along fine."

"It's not that." Harriet bit her lip. Then she blurted out, "Do you think Andy would've liked me even without Slappie's magical note?"

Julian hesitated, tearing a piece of bread of his chicken-salad sandwich. "What did it say?"

"Don't know. Slappie said to not open it, just to slip it into his locker." She raised her head only to slump her chin against her balled hands. "I can't ask Andy what it said because that'll look weird."

"Yeah, probably," he nodded. "He likes you now, right? You guys hang out everyday." _I should know_.

"I guess." She shrugged. "But if I didn't use magic, would he ever have liked me?"

Julian smiled kindly. "I think so. All the magic did was help him notice your good qualities, and you're pretty cool, Harri."

"Yeah? How?"

"For starters, when I egged you into eating a whole bowl of mud, you didn't snitch on me." He held up his sandwich and pretended to scarf it down.

"That was first grade, Jules," she reminded him, but a small grin snuck its way onto her pale mouth.

"And I could tell even then that you were gonna be fun, Harri," he insisted. "You never laughed at me when I wanted to be a clown, and you like the same jokes I do - and the same jokes Andy likes too, I guess," he added.

"Andy likes more knock-knock jokes," Harriet informed him. "You like more slapstick."

"But you like knock-knock jokes," he went on. "And you're great at basketball and video games, and you were brave enough to help Milton Kingston when those older kids were picking on him. Do you want the whole list?"

She shook her head, at last sitting up. "Nah, it's okay."

Julian lightly bumped her with his knuckles. "If I could see all that without magic, Andy would've seen it eventually."

She bumped back. "Thanks, Jules."

Their conversation steered to other things, non-Andy things. How they would make the hula hoop look like a spaceship. The new cartoon episodes that were airing that Friday and what they hoped would happen to their favorite characters. The fall fun that still awaited them in November. When the kids around them started to leave for their next classes, Julian realized he still had a full tray of food. Harriet helped him wolf it down, and they left the lunch room joking and goofing off like they always had.

At least until Harriet said, "I have study hall now, but I'm gonna see if Andy is still at the nurse."

The happy bubble that had filled Julian's chest burst. "Oh. Okay."

Harriet gave a wave and started down the hall, and Julian had to push down the impulse to run after her.

* * *

The day before the carnival, Harriet rode with Julian to his house and took Slappie home with her.

"Girls' night," Slappie explained as Harriet lifted the dummy. "We gotta doll up Harriet for tomorrow."

"You can come over and get pretty too, Jules," Harriet quipped. "Mom's got plenty of nail polish for the three of us."

Julian held up his hands. "Got them done yesterday. I'm good."

Both girls laughed, and then Slappie pointed at Julian with a knowing look. "You better take a shower tonight though," she said in a sing-song voice. "My magic tells me you'll see your girl tomorrow, Julian."

Julian straightened, his heart quickening. "You sure?"

She nodded, and her red mouth became secretive. "Positive. You'll see her at the carnival if you care to go."

Julian's stomach flipped. "You're sure she'll be there?"

"As sure as I see you now, you will see her tomorrow night," replied the dummy.

"Be sure to wear a costume," recommended Harriet. "Then she'll know you're fun to be around."

"Like what?"

Harriet snickered. "You could wear your clown piece."

Julian shoved his friend's free arm. "I could be Zippywise. Waha!"

However, Slappie shook her head. "Just wear something nice. Green to match your eyes, I think. Maybe some cologne. That way the girl will enjoy herself more."

Julian followed the pair downstairs. Harriet put Slappie down to grab her jacket, and as she slipped it on, she sang, " _Juley's gonna get a girlfriend_."

The boy frowned. "I didn't do that with you and Andy," he reminded her.

She snorted good-naturedly. "You wanted to."

His frown switched to a grin. "But I controlled myself."

Harriet collected the dummy, who gave Julian a wink. Julian didn't mind it so much now.

Just as Harriet grabbed the doorknob, a little voice squeaked, "You're taking Slappie away?"

Kevin, Ambrose and Marty-Alan had materialized at their elbows, both twins gaping at Harriet and the now blank-faced dummy.

Harriet put her free hand at her side. "Yep. Decided to take my gal pal here home for a while."

Kevin squeezed the boy doll's hand. "But Marty-Alan wanted to play with her," he protested.

Harriet shrugged carelessly. "I'll bring her by another day."

"Promise?"

"If you're good to Jules, I will."

The twins nodded vigorously.

Ambrose looked at the dummy, his round eyes now solemn. "Marty-Alan says he'll miss her."

Harriet raised Slappie's limp arm to wave at the first graders and Marty-Alan before she stepped with Julian onto the porch.

"I think the boys are pretending that Marty-Alan likes you, Slapster," Harriet grinned at the puppet.

Slappie snorted. "I can do better," she declared. As Harriet started down the front steps with her, Slappie turned to Julian one last time and threaded her wooden fingers over the large girl's right shoulder. "Hand in a glove, Julian. Don't forget."

* * *

A/N: Why "Andy Kramer"? Because I think Book Amy and Book Harrison would be cute together, and a R63 story will have to suffice until I can write a fic where they meet. (This is an AU anyway, so why not?)

If you spot typos and mistakes I missed, please send them in a PM. :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I originally wanted this fic to be two chapters long, but in the end I decided to make it three. Hope you enjoy this installment.

* * *

Julian donned the green plaid shirt Mom had bought for picture day and splashed a bit of Dad's cologne on his neck. He then checked on Patty one last time, turned off her lamp so she could sleep, and petted her back for good luck.

"I hope this girl likes lizards," he told her.

Patty butted his hand, wanting her head stroked next.

Downstairs, he began putting on his shoes, which suddenly looked dirtier than he remembered, and two pairs of feet pattered up to him.

"Can you ask Harriet when she'll bring Slappie back?" Kevin begged.

Julian rolled his eyes. "You guys are obsessed."

"Are not!" insisted Ambrose.

Julian put on his other sneaker and stood. "You guys know that boys who play with dolls get beaten up by bigger boys, right?"

"Marty-Alan says not to care about those people," said Ambrose, but his little face winced.

Julian pointed at them both. "I'm only trying to toughen you two up so you won't get hurt. You understand?"

Kevin bobbed his head once and then said, "But Marty-Alan really wants to see Slappie again. He asked her to marry him two days ago."

Julian nearly convulsed with laughter and had to leaned against the wall to steady himself. At last he managed, "And what did she say?"

"Nothing," frowned Ambrose. "Slappie never talks in front of us."

"Of course not," replied Julian. He slung on his fall jacket. "Marty-Alan shouldn't act creepy, or Slappie will use her secret weapon on him."

Kevin blinked. "What secret weapon?"

"It's a secret, dummy."

He ruffled both their heads before he went out to the garage. Then he grabbed his bike, turned on the headlight, and rode to the carnival.

* * *

The October carnival served their town as an annual fundraiser. Ticket sales went to helping the children's wing at the hospital downtown. Local shops and family businesses donated small toys for prizes in exchange for hanging up their logos, and many volunteers built booths and obstacle courses. Some years the carnival committee had enough in the budget to rent rides to draw in larger crowds from all over the county. As Julian turned onto the last street, a modest-sized Ferris wheel loomed above tents and booths arrayed in orange and purple lights while a spinning carousel cast bright, shimmering beams onto the nearby buildings.

Kids of varying ages scampered or milled about in costumes as Julian locked his bike to a tree. At least four Screams, a rainbow of M&M's, and a huge array of princesses charged with their parents or their friends toward the entrance, guarded by two men in uniform and a lady with a witch hat and sparkly eye shadow.

"I'll know her when I see her," Julian mumbled, scanning the crowd as he got in line for admission. He made a perimeter walk through the carnival grounds, passing many game booths and food stands while anxiously looking at any girl near his age. He spotted many pretty faces, yet none of them popped out as someone selected by magic.

As he came upon the center of the carnival, Julian noticed a familiar figure, albeit now in a purple Mad Hatter top hat. Andy Kramer pitched baseballs at a collection of milk bottles, doing a pretty good job despite needing to push back his large green sleeves multiple times. Julian changed course and started for his classmate.

"Yo," he greeted the shorter boy.

Andy stopped, mid-wind up of his final pitch, and he grinned. "Hey, Julian! What's up?"

"This and that," replied Julian casually - even as he peered hurriedly into the face of a passing pirate girl.

"Same," chirped Andy. He raised the ball again, heaved it at the final three bottles - and two of the targets clattered to the ground. "So close!" he sighed. "Ah, well. It's for a good cause, right?"

Andy stepped away from the booth to allow the next person in line to have their turn, and the two boys retreated to a stand which filled the air with the aroma of buttered popcorn.

"I would've liked to get that flamingo," Andy told Julian. His face suddenly colored in the orange lights. "I, uh, know somebody who'd like it."

Julian smiled tightly - and morphed his expression into a joking smirk. "You could ask Harriet to help you get it."

Andy turned, distracted. "What?"

"Harriet. Tall? Likes basketball? Been hanging out with you all week?" Julian nudged him. "Don't tell me you forgot her already, Romeo."

Andy opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly Daisy Miller, dressed as Alice, rushed through the crowd to them. Her brown hair had been tied with a blue bow to match her dress. She grabbed Andy's arm. "They got great prizes at the dart booth! Help me win the cute panda, Andy!"

Andy blushed. "Sure, Daisy." He gave Julian a quick wave, and the two Wonderlanders hurried into the throng.

Julian sputtered in surprise. Then he clenched his teeth. "Andy, you hold on!" he hollered and started after them. His anger mounted as high as the moon above. That rat!

Julian tried to follow them through the crowd. The Wonderlanders ducked around a corner, and Julian maneuvered through a group of zombies - just as a short-haired girl stepped in front of him. Julian nearly slammed into her.

"Excuse me - " he started to say, attempting to move around her.

However, the smaller girl grabbed his jacket front and let out a high-pitched giggle. "Where's the fire, Julian?" she asked, turning up her freckled face. Her blue eyes glittered with mischief.

Julian's stomach plummeted to his toes. He forgot Andy and gaped at the round face, unable to believe his own senses. Yet there was no denying he knew this very familiar - and very human - person.

"...Slappie?" he choked.

The girl twinkled, tilting her head. "You were expecting maybe Tiffany?"

He blinked twice. She didn't disappear like a mirage, so she had to be real. He poked her arm. Flesh, not wood. "How?"

"Growth hormones," she tittered. She rapped her knuckles against his black hair. "Magic, dummy. What'd you think?" She took her checkered skirt in both hands and swayed side to side. Her dress had been mended since he last saw her. "How do I look? Pretty, yes?"

Her curly brown hair had been styled into a crop that made her resemble Shirley Temple. Her large blue eyes had changed to be better proportioned to the rest of her round face, which had lost all traces of cracks and chips. Her mouth was still red, like she wore lipstick. A floral scent tickled Julian's nose even over the carnival aromas of popcorn and funnel cakes, and he recognized it as the lavender perfume which Harriet sometimes wore to please the Bubbie who had given it last Hanukkah.

"You look…" He met her blue eyes, and his chest tightened in a strange way. "...nice."

She tucked the back of her hands beneath her chin as if framing her face. "Really nice?" She fluttered her eyelashes.

Julian looked away, wishing he had worn clown makeup after all to hide his warm cheeks. "Uh, yeah."

Slappie giggled - and stumbled, grabbing Julian's arm to steady herself. "Ugh, human legs are gonna take some getting used to," she grumbled into his jacket.

His heart fluttered. He gave a quick laugh, helping to prop her up with both hands. She felt heavier than before - like a real girl. He cleared his throat. "Wait 'til you try roller skates."

Slappie's mouth twitched up, and her grip tightened on him. "I'm game if you are."

Julian averted his eyes. "Uh, where's Harriet?" he asked in an effort not to think too much on that perfume.

Slappie straightened and shrugged, disinterested. "She went off to find Andy. She says she'll see us later."

All at once, his normal senses returned. Julian clenched his teeth. "We gotta find her," he growled, scanning the crowd. "I saw Andy hanging out with Daisy Miller, and - "

But Slappie cut him off with a laugh. "Didn't Harriet tell you? Daisy and Andy agreed to be friends. Harriet's gonna hang out with both of them tonight."

Julian squinted at her. "That's kinda weird."

She leered slightly, but then changed to a teasing smirk. "Now, now. You let Harriet enjoy her date and have some fun of your own."

He blinked. "Wuh - ?"

She grabbed his wrist, still staggering a little. "C'mon, chum. I only have until midnight for this spell to wear off, and Cinderella wants to enjoy herself."

He raised an eyebrow as she dragged him along. What was she talking about -

Then it hit him. _Slappie_ was his perfect date? He stared at the back of her head, thunderstruck. Slappie liked him? Slappie _liked_ him? A little dummy made from wood and cloth had pulled an Ariel and made herself human because of him?

Yet as dumbfounded as he was, a small, unexpected flame of anger ignited inside him, and it grew steadily as Slappie towed him through the crowd. All this time she had promised to help him find the right girl, and she had been planning to set him up with herself? Was she serious, or was this all a joke at his expense?

Julian halted, planting his sneakers in the dirt. _You lied to me_ , he opened his mouth to say -

\- But then she turned her head. Her blue eyes gleamed at him, and he shut his mouth again.

"Something wrong?" she asked innocently.

Julian gazed at her freckled face, feeling his own burn. Why had he been furious again? All the wrath he had felt evaporated, and he could only think of her pretty blue eyes and her warm hand against his skin...

He shook himself, embarrassed yet pleased all at once. "No, no. Let's go on some rides."

* * *

Julian guided Slappie to the carousel first, sensibly letting her experiment with an easier attraction. Then they moved to the spinning cups, cheering and whooping as the world became a blur. On the Ferris wheel, Slappie sat close to him, still holding his arm even though she didn't need to. Julian didn't mind.

They played Skee-Ball and a horror-themed Whack-a-Mole, and Slappie did pretty well for never having bones or muscles before. They stopped at shooting galleries with cork guns and shooting galleries with water guns. When Julian won a prize at a balloon game, he gave Slappie her pick of the donated toys.

"Never owned a doll before," she chortled after the attendant passed her a tiny plush skeleton. She started to put it in the right pocket of her dress - and then she froze, eyes bulging. She hurriedly shoved it into her left pocket and gave the skeleton a pat.

"What's wrong?" Julian asked.

"Oh, I just have something in that pocket," she said vaguely, taking his arm again. "A little something to defend myself if I need it."

"Like a secret weapon?"

Slappie smiled at him, a little tightly. Then her expression changed into a wince, and she touched her stomach. "Newbie question, but would this be hunger or a stomachache?"

They made tracks for the nearest food carts, following the scent of funnel cakes and hot dogs. Julian fished into his pockets for what was left of his money, but Slappie released his arm and reached beneath her skeleton doll. She pulled out a green roll from her dress pocket and strode to a cart.

"Give me whatever that is," she ordered, pointing to a rack of corn dogs. She gave the vendor a crisp $20. "You want anything, sweetie?" she asked, looking over her shoulder.

Julian's cheeks warmed at the pet name, and he ordered the same. After he helped Slappie apply mustard to her dog, they continued on, and he ventured to ask, "Where did you get that money?"

"You ask too many questions." At his look, she snickered. "Harriet loaned it to me, dummy. She saves up all her birthday and Christmas money, you know."

Julian frowned. "Harriet's Jewish."

Slappie's blue eyes darted away but quickly returned. "Then that explains why she started laughing when she handed it over."

Julian nodded. That sounded like the sort of goofy thing Harriet would tell someone.

Slappie gingerly tasted her corndog and chewed with a thoughtful expression. After she swallowed, she touched her lips. "So weird to have a tongue."

"And a pulse," Julian pointed out.

"Yeah, feel my neck." She snatched his free hand and laid it against her soft, warm skin. A little smirk appeared as she peered up at him. "See?"

"Very nice, Slappie," he mumbled, taking a step back. Why did his face have to inflame right then?

* * *

They moseyed past more games and watched players instead of participating. Julian didn't mind spectating since it meant Slappie continued to hold his arm, and she even bumped her head against his shoulder once or twice.

 _Much better than Christine_ , he thought.

As they passed by a booth with a basketball game, Julian suddenly remembered Harriet and hoped she was enjoying herself with Andy - yet, oddly enough, he hoped she didn't enjoy it too much either.

He straightened a little. "Say," he said casually as they paused to let a ballerina, a Ninja Turtle, and a swamp monster maneuver around them, "if we see Harriet, Andy and Daisy, we can hang out with them for a while."

Slappie tilted her head, squinting at him. "Aren't you enjoying your time with me?"

He smiled sheepishly. "I don't want you to get bored."

"I'm not bored when I'm around you." She took his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and Julian forgot Harriet.

They got in line for a homemade haunted house people from the carnival committee had made from connecting three trailers together.

"My mom helped the owner with the carpentry work the first year they did this," Julian told Slappie. "Is it cool or what?"

Slappie snorted, her gaze traveling over dark windows and painted pictures of scary faces. "I choose 'what.'"

For the first time in over an hour, Julian frowned. "Hey, they did their best, you know."

"That's the sad part," she said out the corner of her mouth. Then she seemed to see the way Julian had stiffened, and she giggled. "I've been in actual haunted houses, so I can't help if my expectations are low."

Julian looked away. "No reason to be obnoxious," he muttered.

Suddenly, Slappie sidled up against him and threaded her fingers with his. "If you get scared, you can stick close to me."

Julian's heart raced, and suddenly he couldn't remember what had bothered him before.

The ghoul lady at the entrance let them in with three kids dressed as superheroes, and their party ventured into the dim light. The haunted house had more special effects than previous years. Discordant music played on a loop over the intercom while a scared woman whimpered behind the walls at intervals. They paused in each room, observing a witch or a vampire inviting them to stay forever. A jump scare followed, and then attendants with flashlights ushered the five into the next area.

Julian and the three superheroes gasped or laughed when people sprang out to frighten them, but Slappie softly scoffed at the back of the group. "I can show you guys _real_ horror," she muttered.

After the last room, they were sent into a long hallway which led to the exit. The final attendant waved them to the door. The superheroes hurried ahead, laughing. Suddenly, one girl tripped on the carpet and plunged onto her face, yelping with a pain.

The attendant rushed forward while her two friends hovered over her, helping her untangle her costume. Julian was about to lend a hand, but Slappie grabbed his arm.

"Julian, this way!" she whispered.

She led him back toward the last room. She poked her head in and addressed the last attendant. "I think someone is hurt! You should go check!" the dummy girl cried.

The woman whirled around, worried, and charged down the hallway past then, calling to her co-volunteer.

Slappie tugged Julian back in the room with the plastic skeleton giggling in a coffin, and she led him to a door which he hadn't noticed.

They spilled into an empty hallway meant for the workers. A red light above the doors on both ends and the glow-in-the-dark tape on the floor provided the only illumination. The looped sounds of the haunted house continued, and the muffled exclamations of the next tour group came through the thin walls. Slappie suppressed her laughter, shaking against Julian's shoulder, and Julian couldn't stop a few chuckles of his own.

When she had subsided, she gazed up at Julian. "Are you having fun in this fun house?"

He beamed. "You bet!"

"The fun doesn't have to stop." She moved a little closer. "Wouldn't it be nice if I were this way all the time?"

He shuffled his feet. "How can that happen?"

In answer, she grabbed the front of his jacket and yanked him toward her. He yelped in surprise.

She giggled, bringing her nose close to his. "Julian, we could fry an egg on that handsome face!" she tittered as his hands came up to push her back.

"C'mon, don't play jokes," he mumbled. His stomach did a full gymnastics routine worthy of an Olympic gold.

Even in the dim light, her face displayed a playful mischief - and something like triumph. "We watched all those Disney films together," she purred. "One kiss from the handsome prince, and the princess can stay with him."

He bolted upright. "K-Kiss? Here? Now?" His eyes shot to her mouth - and then darted away.

"Why not? Don't you like me?"

His mouth felt dry. "I do, but…"

She straightened and gave his jacket a sharp tug. "Or do you _want_ me to be a puppet again?" she pouted.

"I…"

Her fingers curled around the fabric. She tilted her head, and her curls shifted to the side in a cute way. "It wouldn't be so bad to be with me, would it?" she asked, just loud to be heard over the noises of the haunted house. "I know you don't feel appreciated at home. Your brothers torment you, and your parents don't stop them."

"That is true," he answered softly, meeting her eyes. Why was it so hard to think when he looked at her?

She touched his cheek. "But if you kiss me, you'll never be alone again, Julian," she promised. "You'll always be with me."

She raised herself on tiptoe, bringing her face closer still.

The lavender perfume tickled his nose. It really suited the dummy even if Harriet felt sheepish to wear it, afraid the boys at school would laugh at her. But Julian always thought girly things suited Harriet. She looked nice in dresses…

Julian turned his head away from the dummy, and her lips caught the air instead. "I gotta go to the bathroom!" he cried, wrenching out of her hold.

"Not what a girl wants to hear!" she called after him crossly as he fled toward the outdoors.

* * *

Julian's heart pounded harder than his sneakers did against the ground as he charged through the crowd. It was hard to think, and he could still feel Slappie against him - still see her pretty blue eyes - still smell that lavender fragrance...

Yet he had to find Harriet. He just had to.

He mumbled apologies as he crashed through a crowd of kids he knew from school. He didn't know where to go, but he looked over the heads of middle schoolers for that familiar dark hair and laid-back smile.

A large top hat caught his eye among the guests, and Julian changed course to chase after the Alice and Mad Hatter ambling along toward the carousel.

They certainly looked like they were enjoying themselves. Andy leaned a little closer to Daisy, and she shyly adjusted Andy's huge bow tie.

Julian braked in front of them, cutting them off. "Have you guys seen Harriet?" he panted.

Daisy took Andy's arm, rather possessively. "No."

Andy shook his head, looking sheepish. "Me neither."

Julian curled his hands. "When was the last time you saw her tonight?"

Andy shrugged. "Not since school yesterday."

"Same," agreed Daisy coolly.

Julian's legs started to shake. "Not once tonight?"

Andy rolled his shoulders, averting his gaze to Daisy. "Nope, sorry."

Daisy opened her mouth to add something, but Julian spun around and sprinted toward the carnival entrance.

* * *

A payphone stood at the corner of the street beneath a street lamp. Julian rummaged his pockets for leftover change and slipped coins into the slot.

Three rings and a woman answered. "Cohen residence."

"Hey, Mrs. Cohen," he said quickly. "It's me, Julian. Is Harriet there?"

"Who?"

"Har-ri-et," Julian repeated, enunciating carefully into the receiver in case the payphone had been damaged from too much use. "Your daughter."

Mrs. Cohen paused - Julian held his breath - and then she laughed. "If you and Slappie are pulling a little Halloween prank, I'm not falling for it, young man," she said playfully. "Please tell Slappie that her curfew is still at ten-thirty, even if you guys are having fun. I _will_ come looking for her if she's late. Night."

A click and the dial tone hummed in his ear.

Julian slammed the receiver back onto its holder. He gripped the frame of the payphone stand to keep from collapsing on his rubbery legs.

Where was Harriet? Where was Harriet?

He staggered a few steps down the sidewalk. Screams and laughter roared from the carnival, but they seemed to come from a different world. What did he do now? Where could he go to find his friend?

Then his pulsing heart hardened. Only one place to go - and that was wherever that horrible dummy had gotten to.

He balled his hands and stomped toward the carnival entrance bathed in the festive orange light. However, a small figure already walked toward him, framed against the colorful illumination as if she were a shadow from those diamond commercials she enjoyed.

Arms tucked behind her, Slappie made a slow sashay toward him, not wobbling now. She didn't seem to notice the glower Julian gave her smug face - or maybe she didn't care. "What's your problem, Julian? Did I come on too strong?"

Julian stopped in front of her, drawing up to his full height. "You got a lot of explaining to do, dummy," he snarled.

Slappie lowered her eyes, pouting her lips with fake remorse. "I just couldn't help myself. It was so nice being with you, I didn't want it to end."

"Forget that!" he cried. He pointed a finger at her face. "Where's Harriet?"

Her jaw tightened briefly before she dimpled lazily. "She's having fun with Andy."

"Don't lie to me!" he shouted. "Where is she?!"

"Exactly where she needs to be." She ran a hand over her brown curls, keeping her eyes trained on him. "It's such a lovely night, Julian. Doesn't the moonlight look nice on my hair?"

He tried to tell her to shut up, but his eyes went to her cropped curls as if pulled by a puppet string. Those little rings looked soft, and he had the sudden urge to run his fingers over them.

Now that he had started, he couldn't stop himself from taking in her other attributes. Her blue eyes were the kind he wouldn't mind gazing into for hours. Her freckled cheeks would feel so nice pressed against his own - same with those red lips that smiled so cutely at everything. Even if she was just a dummy, she had so many superior qualities…

Julian's eyes bulged with realization. He sprang back, panting hard. "Are you using magic on me?!"

Slappie scowled. "Don't ruin the fun, Jules."

"Don't call me that!" he snapped. "You're supposed to be our friend! What did you do to Harriet?"

"What are you gonna do to find out?" Her finger brushed against her red lips.

Her calm manner only made him more furious. He screamed, "Enough with your stupid jokes! You're not funny! You've never been funny!"

Her frown reappeared. "Better stop before you say something I can't forgive." She tilted up her chin. "Kiss me, and then we'll find Harriet together."

He had never hit a girl before, but in that moment he wanted to shake her hard until she talked. "No. No, I won't kiss you!" he cried, holding up his fists without touching her. "You'll become a dummy again at midnight, and then I'm never speaking to you again! I'm never gonna kiss a girl who hurt my best friend!"

Slappie fell quiet. Her pretty blue eyes - _No, they weren't pretty! They weren't!_ \- grew as sharp and as cold as a knife. "So, it's onto Plan B then," she said through her new teeth. She grabbed Julian by the wrist. "Come with me," she ordered.

* * *

A/N: I would be lying if I said human-female Slappie wasn't influenced by Monaka from _Danganropa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls_.


	3. Chapter 3

Julian left his bike at the carnival grounds, but he only thought once of it while Slappie took him down street after street. Neither spoke. Slappie held onto Julian's wrist even after sweat started to appear between their skins. Eventually, she led him back to their neighborhood. To his surprise, Slappie walked past Harriet's house without a glance and led him further along—right to Julian's door.

He glared at her. "She's here?"

Her head snapped up. "Grab the spare key and act normal," she ordered. "One false step from you, and Harriet will regret it."

Julian bit his tongue and retrieved the spare key from the potted plant. The lock clicked open, and Slappie grabbed his arm again and lugged him into the hallway between the stairs and the kitchen. Julian slipped the key into his pocket, barely managing to close the door in time.

Just then Kevin meandered out of the kitchen, three large cookies in his hands and crumbs on his face. The little boy did a double take as the older two strode toward, and he began to sputter, spraying chewed chocolate chips.

Slappie stomped her foot, stopping in front of him. "Scram!" she hissed.

Kevin wiped his mouth, coughing into his sweater sleeve, and sprinted around them, heading for the stairs. While Kevin's footsteps disappeared into the second floor, Slappie yanked the doorknob of the basement door. She glowered up at Julian. "Don't try to run ahead of me. I'm not playing games, lover boy."

"I know you're not," Julian said through his teeth, trying to speak louder than the pulse in his ears.

They descended the creaky steps in silence. At the bottom of the stairs, Slappie spun on her heel and turned up her face. "One last chance," she said, taking the front of his jacket. "Kiss me, and we can all leave this house as friends."

Julian narrowed his eyes. "Friends don't blackmail each other."

Slappie tisked once and released him. "Don't cry later and say I wasn't fair." She stepped to the door of his mother's workshop - Julian stayed right behind her - and flipped on the light.

Julian searched the room, but he saw no sign of his friend. "Harriet!" he called out.

Slappie snatched his arm, swinging him right into the wall. Pain rang through him, but he bit back his cry. Although Julian towered over her like a tree beside a bush, Slappie raised herself up enough so that her nose almost touched his.

Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Stay back and I won't hurt your little friend—and I do mean _little_."

She shoved Julian once and strode to the closet at the far end of the workshop. She hauled out Julian's old suitcase, which had previously been buried under the boy's bed. She held the handle with both hands and carried it to the table saw. A click of the fastenings followed, and Slappie pulled out a miserable dummy girl with a dark ponytail, dark eyes, and a wide frame.

"Harriet!" Julian cried, but he stayed rooted by the wall.

Her wooden wrists and ankles had been bound by ropes, and she raised her disproportionate head glumly to meet Julian's shocked stare. The corners of her ligneous lips were curled up in a permanent smile, but her dark eyes spoke volumes.

Slappie patted Harriet's head, grinning. "Good thing you don't have lungs anymore, Harriet. Otherwise your time in the suitcase would have been _murder_." She laughed at her dark joke.

Harriet's now painted eyes slid toward the former puppet. Then in a tiny voice, high pitched and shrill, she said, "You're a monster."

Slappie sneered. "That's what humans are gonna call you from now on, dummy dearest. If Julian lets you survive the night." Suddenly, she grabbed Harriet, knocked the suitcase off the table, and forced the wooden girl against the silent blade. Her mad eyes shot to Julian. "What will you do to save Harriet, darling?"

Julian instinctively raised his hands. "What do I _have_ to do?" he asked softly.

Slappie tapped her pursed lips. "Make me human, and she lives. Make me wait, and she dies."

Julian swallowed, but he tried to keep a hardened face. "What happens to Harriet if you're human?" he demanded.

She gave Harriet's head a condescending pat. The wooden face winced, and Slappie smirked. "I thought we could make a pet out of her. She's too little to be a servant, but for her contribution to our eventual marriage, I'll reward her with a pleasant existence."

"Marriage," repeated Julian.

"I'm in this for the long haul, my darling." She fluttered her eyelashes. "And 'Mrs. Slappie Zinman' has a certain ring to it, don't you think?"

"You're crazy."

Slappie gripped Harriet's ponytail and yanked, making Harriet to cry out and struggle against the ropes. Julian moved one foot forward, but Slappie pointed sharply at him, and he fell back.

Slappie placed a free hand on her hip, a bitter smile on her lips. "When I encounter a human, I usually enslave them," she said, "but I chose to elevate you to my equal, Julian. I even took this form, all for you. Because I knew from the moment I first saw you that you were the one I wanted by my side."

 _Why would I want a psycho like you?_ he felt tempted to say, but one glance at Harriet against the saw blade held his tongue.

"You don't have a choice," Slappie said softly. "Jamie O'James tried to keep me from you. I ordered her to help me grab you when you left our dressing room, but she knocked me out and left me to rot. Then Harriet brought me to your home despite the attempt on my life. Black magic is on my side. Do you think you have a chance?"

Slappie's hand moved to the switch. "But if you won't have me as your princess, then I'll be your queen and make you obey me, Julian. If you say no, it'll just _tear_ Harriet apart!"

"Okay!" Julian cried. His voice sounded faint. "Okay. Don't hurt her. I'll… do it, Slappie. Just let her go."

"Then kiss me, you fool." Slappie released Harriet and sauntered over to him. She stopped just in front of him, her blue eyes arrogant and triumphant.

Julian took a deep breath and began to lean forward, eyes open and lips slightly pursed.

However, Slappie touched his chest, stopping him. "No, let's do this right." She took Julian's arms and wrapped them around her waist. She raised herself to her tiptoes. Her own hands snaked around his neck and rested against the back of his hair, as if determined to keep him from bolting. "You won't regret this, sweetie," she whispered. "You won't even remember Harriet the human when we're done."

Julian winced and tilted his head forward. _For Harriet_.

Slappie's breath felt unpleasantly hot on his face. His nose brushed against hers, and Slappie's eyes closed happily…

But before their lips could touch, a voice exploded from the workshop door. High-pitched but male—and angry.

" _Let GO of that girl, Julian! She's MINE!_ "

Julian started, spinning his head from Slappie's face. He stared at Kevin and Ambrose standing unhappily in the doorway, and right between them, Marty-Alan's violet eyes blazed with an unspeakable hatred.

* * *

"How many dolls are alive in this house?!" Julian gasped.

Slappie sniffed, tightening her hold on Julian. "Beat it," she ordered Marty-Alan, not sounding the least bit surprised to see him. "My fiancé and I were about to have a milestone moment."

Marty-Alan stomped up to them, and the twins followed meekly. The boy doll shook his plastic fists at Slappie. "After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me?!" he shrieked. "I was even nice to that brat for your sake!"

"And I'm supposed to be impressed by that?" sneered the girl. "You have to do more than that for me to accept a marriage proposal."

 _Proposal_ … Julian's eyes widened. Hadn't the twins told him something about that? Julian wildly spun toward his brothers. Kevin and Ambrose hung their heads, barely fidgeting.

Julian gaped. "You guys knew about him?"

Both boys looked up, and identical looks of pure misery met Julian.

"We wanted to tell you, Juley," Kevin choked out. Uncharacteristic tears brimmed his little eyes. "But Marty-Alan wouldn't let us."

"He made us do all those bad things to you," sobbed Ambrose, sniffling into his shirt collar. "We had to pretend we liked him so that he wouldn't hurt you and Mom and Dad. He was so mean to us."

Anger shoved the shock forcibly out of Julian. He twisted in Slappie's arms toward the miniature man, curling his hands. "You were _what_ to them?!" he demanded.

"Quiet, boy. The grownups are talking," growled the doll.

However, Slappie roughly turned Julian's chin back toward her. "Just kiss me, babe, and then we can deal with him," she ordered.

Marty-Alan let out a scream. " _YOU DO, AND I START KILLING THINGS!_ " he bellowed.

Julian braced his hands against Slappie, keeping her back.

The ex-dummy made an aggravated noise. "Fine! I'll humor you," she snapped, looking down at Marty-Alan. "What do you got to offer that Julian doesn't?"

The doll glared at Slappie. "I'm not human for one. I'm old enough to appreciate you for another. Why take a child when you can have an actual man?"

Slappie clutched Julian's arm possessively. "Why would I want you? You're ugly. Julian is gorgeous."

The boy doll's front teeth bared, clenched tight. His violet eyes went from burning blazes to cold fury. Quietly, he said, "The magic you did tonight, it's a type of transposing spell. Wasn't it?"

"What of it?" Slappie drawled, but her eyes shifted side to side.

Marty-Alan shuffled forward. "My father used to do that one," he glowered. He moved closer. "Whenever an angry mob came for him, he would hide among the toys and send one of us out as a human to lure the hunters away." A little closer.

Slappie sniffed haughtily. "My mother perfected it though."

"Maybe," answered the doll, "but my father did it so often, I could do it now in my sleep - like so." With that he lunged forward.

Julian instinctively jumped back. Slappie pulled on Julian, trying to shield him, but it was all in vain. Marty-Alan reached Julian's leg and cried out a strange word.

Julian tried to kick him away, but the floor came rushing up to meet him. Julian fell on his side with a strangely soft thud. He scrambled to his knees, but his limbs felt weird—he tried to deny it, but his arms and legs felt hollow. His fingers—his _tiny_ fingers—flew to his plastic wrist. No pulse.

"You change him back, you horrible freak!" Slappie screeched above his head.

Julian raised his eyes and stared as the human Marty-Alan straightened to his full height. His overalls and striped shirt had grown with him, and he looked twelve. Julian's jaw hung open - and the plastic boy realized his head had become hollow as well.

Marty-Alan sneered - and pounced upon Julian, knocking Slappie away.

"Leggo!" Julian cried in a shrill voice he barely recognized, but Marty-Alan pulled him into a headlock, tugging on his now artificial hair with his left hand. Pained seared through Julian's empty head like lightning passing through him. He blindly kicked at his captor, but Marty-Alan held firm.

"Please don't!" cried Harriet shrilly, raising her bonded hands. "Please!"

"Drop the boy, and I _might_ let you leave alive," threatened Slappie, starting forward.

Marty-Alan sprang back, twisting Julian's artificial scalp sharply to the side. "Marry me, or I'll rip his head right off."

* * *

"Let go of my bridegroom right now!" Slappie demanded, but she stayed where she was, shaking her fists impotently.

Marty-Alan chuckled in his new voice - he sounded like a normal kid around Julian's age, but icy rage made his laughter unnatural. "If you won't have me, you can't have him," he told Slappie, giving Julian's black hair another tug.

Julian struggled against the headlock and managed to get one arm up to the ex-doll's other hand - and he cried out with dismay as he felt mop yarn on his own head. "Change me back!" he screamed. "Please change me back!"

The arm around Julian's neck dropped, but Marty-Alan held onto his hair and extended his arm out so that Julian's dangled in the air. Fortunately, Julian barely weighed anything now, but it still hurt.

"How do you like this, brat?" Marty-Alan hissed. "Maybe I can shove your face into macaroni later. See how it feels!"

"You harm him, and I'll murder you slowly," Slappie warned.

Marty-Alan leered at her. His lips were still red, and his fair face looked flushed in the spots where the red dots had been. Worse of all, his violet eyes still had that disturbing stare. "Maybe you don't want to kiss me," he said softly, "but that's not necessary to keep you human, now is it?"

He stepped sideways to the left like a crab, right to the table saw where Harriet still laid. His free hand lashed out, and he forced the new dummy body into a sitting position. "I can always make Julian kiss the girl too. They'll stay toys, and we'll stay human."

Harriet's eyes bulged, and she struggled against Marty-Alan's grip. Julian continued to kick air. Neither loosened the hold of those harsh hands. Marty-Alan's face shone with triumph. He shook both children and - suddenly - knocked their heads together. Julian ceased his struggle, seeing stars.

Somewhere in the daze, Marty-Alan said, "Either we're both humans, or we're both dolls, Slappie. What's your decision?"

Julian rubbed his hollow head. It took him several moments to realize that Slappie had made no move.

Slappie stared at Marty-Alan quietly. No one else spoke, and the silence hung for several moments. Slappie's hands clenched and unclenched, as if she imagined herself strangling Marty-Alan right there.

At last she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Guess I have no choice." She took a step toward Marty-Alan. "To save my Julian, I must do something I'd really hate to do." She slowly marched across the floor, keeping her gaze trained on her suitor.

The hand released Julian, and his plastic body landed with a thud. He scrambled to his knees - _I have no bones! How can I stand?!_ \- and Marty-Alan moved to stand in front of him, blocking Slappie. He closed the distance between him and the shorter girl, holding out his hands for a hug.

Slappie gazed back, coolly, and she casually reached into one pocket - but not the one with the skeleton doll and Harriet's money. Like a viper, her hand shot back out, now a fist. She hissed something in a strange language and blew blue dust from her hand into Marty-Alan's red face.

He only had time to open his mouth in a scream that never left his throat, and the human Marty-Alan crumbled to dust.

* * *

"There goes my secret weapon," sighed Slappie ruefully, as if she had just heard her birthday party had been canceled.

Julian gaped as far as his plastic mouth could drop.

Slappie turned from the pile of dust, completely ignoring Kevin and Ambrose huddled before her. Julian stepped back with a teeter as she approached him, but he knew he wouldn't be able to outrun her on his new legs.

Slappie gazed tenderly at him. She knelt and laid her hand against his plastic cheek. "Did he hurt you, sweetie?"

He shuddered at her touch. "You killed him," he whispered, and he realized he no longer had lungs or a tongue to speak with - how was he talking?

Slappie looked at him seriously. "And I'd do it again to protect you, Julian. Don't worry. You'll be human again at midnight, and then we'll continue our conversation."

Julian retreated another step, but he wobbled on his plastic feet and fell on his back.

"Not so easy, is it?" Slappie said wryly, taking his shoulder to sit him up. "Despite the disadvantages of your species, there's something to be said about how humans walk."

Julian tried to grit his teeth, but his new plastic mouth only had two top and two bottom ones.

Slappie's forefinger glided to his chin. Her blue eyes took on a sudden sparkle. "Here's a thought," she grinned. "I can reverse the spell now and make Harriet a human again."

He pushed away her hand. "You can?"

Slappie nodded. "That is, if you'll stay with me as a doll." She took his hand. "We either are both humans or both dolls, Julian. And you're gorgeous even like this. If anything, now your good looks won't fade away as you age."

Julian scooted away. "The spell wears off at midnight. I can wait you out."

Her smile vanished. "And I'll recast the one on Harriet after midnight," she warned. "I'll recast my spell again and again and again. You'll never see Harriet as a human again - unless you're my dolly bridegroom, Julian."

Julian closed his eyes, thinking hard.

What could he do? What could he do?

At last he looked at her. "Let me talk it over with Harriet."

Slappie snorted. "Why should I do that?"

Julian held her gaze, trying not to betray his thoughts. "Let me talk with Harriet. Then I'll do the kiss." He held up his plastic pinky. "Promise."

Slappie frowned at him suspiciously. Then she pointed to the clock on wall. "You have two minutes before I _cut up_ the festivities," she warned.

Julian raised his arms and allowed Slappie to carry him to the table. She stepped backwards slowly, keeping a hawk stare on the toy children.

Harriet had recovered from Marty-Alan knocking her head against Julian's, and she looked at her lap. Her sliding jaw shook. "I'm sorry, Jules," she whispered. "I should've left her in the trash."

Julian touched her still bound wrists. He gave her a soft shake and lowered his shrill voice. "Harri, do you want her to win?"

Harriet blinked hard - not that she could cry with her wooden eyes. "We can't fight her," she said. She didn't sound bitter, just depressed. "But don't marry her, Jules. Become human again. I don't care what happens if it means you're safe from her."

Julian squeezed her ligneous fingers. Her hand fit better in his now they were both toys. "Don't say stuff like that."

"What can we do? She'll just keep recasting her spell. We can't win. We don't know anything about magic." Harriet's artificial eyes trailed up to the dark basement windows. "I just wish I could see my family one more time." Her squeaky voice shook.

Julian leaned closer. "We know one thing about magic, thanks to Marty-Alan," he whispered. He refused to look at Slappie: that might give himself away. Instead, he met Harriet's dark eyes. "Harri, do you trust me?"

She slowly blinked. "What did you have in mind?"

He tried to sound calm, like he was only suggesting they go to the arcade, but his voice cracked a little as he said, "Give me a kiss."

She leaned back. "What."

He squeezed her fingers again. "Kiss me, and let's both stay dolls."

Her dark eyes bulged. "We can't," she stammered. "You have to change back."

He shook his head. "Either we're both humans or we're both toys. I'm not leaving my best friend behind."

Her painted lip trembled. "But, Jules…"

"Time's up," said Slappie, advancing toward them. "I want my bridegroom."

Julian gave Harriet a desperate look. Slappie reached for Julian's tiny shoulder.

Harriet's sliding jaw firmed, right before she threw her wooden arms around Julian's neck and puckered her carved lips against his plastic cheek.

* * *

No fireworks. No slowing of time. No violins or angelic choir. Nothing like the movies at all. Just a peck between best friends caught in a tight corner. But it must have done its job because Slappie let out an animalistic shriek of rage.

" _Get off him, you horrible piece of trash!_ " She lunged at Harriet, grabbing her by the neck and yanking her from Julian.

Julian caught Harriet's waist, wrapping an arm around her waist while desperately grabbing the table. "Let her go!" he shouted shrilly.

Harriet hammered Slappie's hands, trying to free herself, but she didn't have the strength to do damage.

"I'm not beaten yet!" shrieked Slappie, shaking Harriet so that her legs flailed. "After I kill you, Harriet, I'll find myself a doll to swap places with, and then I'll claim my husband!"

Harriet grappled with Slappie's thumbs, and Julian struggled to keep his friend anchored to the table. But his grip slowly slipped from the edge.

Suddenly, Kevin squeaked out: "Leave Harriet alone!"

Slappie momentarily paused, and Kevin plunged into her. Ambrose hesitated behind his twin for a second, but he too charged into the fray. The boys each grabbed an arm, curling their bodies to add weight on Slappie's limbs. Julian tugged on Harriet's waist, pulling as hard as he could.

Yet Slappie held onto Harriet's neck.

" _This is not over!_ " she shrieked, brandishing the wooden body. " _You'll all pay for keeping me from my bridegroom!_ "

"No dumb dummy's gonna take our brother!" screeched Kevin, kicking at Slappie's shin.

The girl howled in sharp pain, and Harriet fell from her hands. Julian tugged with all the strength he had, leaning so far back he lost balance - and Harriet landed in his arms, safe at last.

Slappie rounded on Kevin. "You're next, freak!" She grabbed Kevin's sweater collar, raising her flat palm high to let it swing down -

"Slappie Cohen! I knew you'd be here!" boomed a woman's voice from the basement rec room.

Slappie lurched in surprise, missing Kevin's head by a hair. Her grip loosened, and Kevin sprang over to Ambrose as Mrs. Cohen stormed into the workshop. Harriet's sliding jaw dropped, but Julian hastily covered her mouth before she could call out to her mother. He shook his head at her, as subtle as he could.

Harriet had inherited her large physique from her mother, who towered over the tiny Slappie. She took the ex-dummy's wrist and pulled her toward the stairs. "No excuses. You can play with the Zinman boys tomorrow."

Slappie had frozen in shock when the bulky woman entered, but now she tried to wrench her wrist free. "Let go of me, you old cow!" she spat.

Mrs. Cohen rounded on her. "Excuse me, young lady?" she barked.

Slappie pulled back, but Mrs. Cohen sternly looped her arm around her slim waist and hefted her up as easily as if she had still been a dummy. Tucking Slappie under her arm, she carried the thrashing girl toward the stairs.

"We'll discuss this at home with your father," Mrs. Cohen said coldly. "Believe me, we're gonna have a long talk."

Slappie made an effort to grab the handrail, but she could not get a hold. Mrs. Cohen's heavy stride sounded right to the first floor. Her stomps and Slappie's curses continued above, leading to the door — and then silence.

* * *

At first no one spoke. Ambrose hugged Kevin protectively, both twins shaking with fright. Julian gave Harriet a gentle pat, and the girl gazed up at the ceiling as if looking for the last traces of her mother.

Finally, Julian's common sense returned, and he pushed himself up. "Is everyone okay?"

The others nodded, and Julian directed Ambrose to grab the scissors from their mother's work table in the corner. Julian, who was good at tying knots, used the more pointed blade to loosen the tight twists around Harriet's wrists.

Harriet rubbed her arms, and then her eyes widened in remembrance. "She brought me here using your spare key," she told them.

Julian patted his pocket. "I have it," he said, glad he hadn't put it back under the plant pot outside. From the bulge in his clothing, it hadn't seemed to shrink with him. "She won't be sneaking back in tonight."

"She'll have a hard time escaping my house," Harriet said bitterly. "She asked all those questions about me to steal my life, but she won't be able to ask my parents what the alarm code is."

"We'll be ready for her if she tries anything," Julian assured her, nudging her arm gently. He then turned to his brothers. "Are you guys okay?"

Ambrose sniffed, and Kevin shrugged. Although Julian had often tried to toughen them up to protect them for bullies, now he felt sick remorse as he studied their scared, wounded expressions. They had suffered for months under Marty-Alan and had not let anyone know because they didn't want Julian to get hurt. Even adults didn't always have that strength.

Overwhelmed with a sudden rush of an emotion he wouldn't be able to describe even if he trusted himself to speak, he held out his hands to his brothers. The twins wasted no time rushing to him, and they both wrapped their arms around his plastic torso, pressing their cheeks against his mop-yarn hair.

Finally, Julian released them and turned to check on Harriet. She gazed at the black basement window dully.

Julian bumped her arm the way he had as a human and tried to put on a brave face. "You can stay with us until we fix this."

Her eyes trailed to him, and her jaw shook again. " _Can_ we fix it?"

Julian scooted closer to her. "We're dummies because of magic. Maybe if we learn magic, we can be humans again."

She knitted her brow. "You think so?"

"It's worth a try." He contorted his plastic lips into a grin. "On the bright side, we don't have to go to school."

Harriet didn't laugh, but Ambrose stepped beside her. He held out his arms. "We'll help you, Harri," he declared. "We'll ask Mom to take us to the Little Theater. If we can find Jamie O'James, she might know something about Slappie's magic."

Harriet paused and then raised her arms as well, letting Ambrose lift her.

Kevin picked up Julian. "We can put on our own dummy shows too!" he cried, spinning a little with Julian.

Ambrose carefully cradled Harriet against his shoulder. "We can make a lot of money and use it to find out how to fix you guys."

Kevin grinned at Julian, his eyes twinkling. "Unless Juley doesn't want us playing with girl's toys."

Julian gave him a light swat. "I'm not a girl's toy. I'm your brother. Big difference."

"Our little brother!" giggled Ambrose.

As the twins carried them up both flights of stairs and to their room for the night, Julian saw Harriet glance forlornly at the hall phone. No doubt she wished she could call her parents, but now they believed they had a daughter named Slappie Cohen.

Julian reached over Kevin's shoulder and tapped her arm. Harriet's wooden mouth trembled into a sad smile, and her stiff fingers curled around Julian's. It surprised Julian to see how well they fitted together.

"Like a hand in a glove," he murmured, squeezing back.

Harriet tilted her head. "What was that?"

"Nothing!" Julian said quickly, hoping his painted face couldn't blush.

THE END

* * *

A/N: No, I don't ship Jillian/Harrison or Jules/Harri. (If anything, I friend-ship Jill and Harrison.) I just wanted to write an ending different than what most people would have expected with them staying dolls.

One thing I like about R63 AUs is how you can explore double standards and societal norms that people might not even know they have. For example, if a person thinks male-at-female stalking is "romantic" (i.e. Frollo toward Esmeralda or Phantom/Erik toward Christine), do they think it's creepy if you change it to female-at-male stalking? Why? Or, conversely, if a person think a male abusing a female is horrible, do they think a female abusing a male is okay and/or funny? It's like the _Goosebumps_ piece, "Old Story," where Aunt Dahlia turns her own grandnephews into old men to sell them to old women as husbands. Genderflip that and it is (rightfully) creepy - so why is it more acceptable to view as female-toward-male abuse? As someone who was mistreated by female relatives, I can say with sincerity that females can be perpetrators in abuse, so why does society overlook this issue? If my little fic has at least made you aware of this sort of double standard, then at least it's done something good.


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